glory vessel

"i get so clumsy
i get so foolish
i get so stupid
and then i feel so useless
but You're sayin' you love me
and You're still gonna hold me
And that you wanna be near me
cause You're makin' me holy
still makin' me holy"

yesterday was one of those days when nothing seemed to be going eaxctly right. i got a whopping 3.5 hours of sleep sunday night/monday morning, trying to get this killer theory homework in on time. that didn't work, so i was a zombie all day and for almost nothing. after scraping through a Violin Litereature class for which i was semi-prepared, i found a spot on the old couch in the music student's lounge and slept like a dead thing for about an hour, revived by the sounds of kids and parents coming out of after-school private music lessons. after chowing down on a couple nuked burritoes for supper, i headed to orchestra where i had a not-so-succesful rehearsal, making a glaring mistake on this same spot i have yet to get right (it's one of the soli spots, so yes, everyone hears it!). as orchestra ended, and my day at school came to a close, i was looking forward to jumping on my bike and riding home. i love the biking and, tired as i was, i was looking forward to sleeping in my bed. that's when i discovered that my bike light had been stolen. arggh! i mentally kicked myself for not storing it in my locker during the day, and then had to admit, "oh well, it's all God's money", a phrase that i am relying on big time these days! so yeah, i was feeling pretty clumsy.
this morning, i was praying and remembered that yesterday - or was it sunday - i had had a revelation: i realized that in settling into a new place i had forgetten that God could use me to share His grace and truth with my new "neighbors", Boiseans. remebering again made me think how awesome God is, so patient and faithful, even when, especially when, i am niether of those things. i mean, not only did it take me 4 weeks look up from my own little life, but then when i did remember the God perspective, i promptly forgot about it a few hours later! then this song came back to me, about God still making me holy...
so here i go on another day. my efforts to please God are, in of themselves, useless, but somehow God is growing me into a vessel for His glory. my hope is that i can remember to keep my eyes open enough to see it.